TACOMA, Wash. – Stacie Spahr spent four days in a shelter of her own making on the side of Mt. St. Helens last summer.

The Pacific Lutheran second-year wasn't roughing it just for the sake of camping, though.

Spahr was taking part in a special ceremony signifying a person's steps into adulthood in the Cowlitz Indian Tribe.

"Your task is wanting to not only learn how to survive, but to center yourself," she said. "There are seven directions — north, south, east, west, up, down and center. I was taught that you need to learn how to center yourself before you can go in other directions. You need to find yourself first."

Spahr and her women's basketball teammates open Northwest Conference play at 6 p.m. Friday against Whitman College at Olson Gymnasium.

When Spahr was out in the woods this past July, she had very few creature comforts. No phone, very little food, a Life straw for drinking water and a whole lot of time to think.

While tribal elders scouted out the spot for a base camp, Spahr had to make a shelter and find a spot where she would spend her days.

She found herself drawn to a clearing by a river, where she then sat and meditated.

"I don't know how to explain what has changed because before I went up there, I wasn't 100 percent sure why I was going," she said. "I just knew I needed to do this; like I have a calling for it. So, I went up there and it was very emotional. I would just sit there and cry.

"When I came back, I didn't know what had changed, but I knew something had. I appreciate things a lot more."

After coming down from the mountain, one of the first things she did was share a photo with her teammates and call her roommate, Ashley Akamine, for what turned out to be a two-hour conversation.

"She seemed really calm," said Akamine, a Hawaii native. "She just seemed like a different person with a different perspective."

Spahr attended a ceremony after coming off the mountain where she was given her name, which means Strong Heart.
 

"You can just see that she feels complete," said Jacqui Spahr, Stacie's mom. "Not that she was lost, but now when she visits the mountain, she just gets emotional and crying because of the experience she had up there. She just connected to it."

Spahr, who grew up in Toledo, Washington, about 50 miles south of Tacoma, has been involved with the Cowlitz Tribe since she was six. She is a member through her dad's lineage in the tribe, which wasn't recognized by the federal government until 2000 and has 3,500 or so members.

The Cowlitz are a tribe of Southwestern Coast Salish and Sahaptan indigenous people. The Cowlitz Reservation was established in 2010 and is located near Ridgefield, Washington, and is headquartered in Longview, Washington.

Spahr is a member of the tribe's youth council, regularly communicates with elders, goes back home to help out as needed on weekends during the college year and was a canoe journey princess in her youth.

"People say, 'You are only part of the tribe for the benefits,' " Spahr said, "but I would be a part of the tribe if there wasn't anything else— if it was just the culture."

Spahr is blond-haired and blue-eyed, which leads to questions at times about the authenticity of her tribal membership. Though she said she gets more pushback from other tribes than non-native peoples.

"I definitely know I don't fit the stereotype. A lot of people are shocked at first and are like, 'no way,'" she said. "Because we were colonized a lot of our culture was lost. Over the years I've been in the tribe, I've watched things come back - like our language."

She also makes it pretty clear to whoever she is talking to about her background and her social media is littered with photos of her involvement in tribal events.

"Stacie has always been someone who wants to be involved and did that," her mom said. "She has always been drawn to the water and the mountains, the cultural side of things. She's got regalia and drums and all of that stuff. She has a special crown made out of cedar. She can survive in the wilderness if need be. She can make a lot of natural salves and medicine. She will talk to anyone about being tribal."

While on the mountain, Spahr didn't just receive her Cowlitz name, she also reaffirmed her spirit animal — the hummingbird.

When she was sitting next to the river this summer, she was visited by a hummingbird multiple times, which came on the heels of a time when she was younger when she was making a blanket and needed to choose an animal to feature on it. Most kids chose wolves or bears, but Spahr chose a hummingbird.

Now on her college campus in Parkland, the mathematics major and computer science minor sees hummingbirds often come to her dorm room window and look inside.

"I always try to explain to people what being in a ceremony feels like," Spahr said. "Listening to an elder tell you a story — you try to explain it to people and you can tell that they don't actually understand.

"If anything, I just wish people could experience the connection and the spiritual feeling you get when you are sitting there observing. When you are at the mountain and you are completely at peace and you are hearing the hummingbirds and the butterflies are flying around. That is just beautiful."